#whoremembers If you first read that as ‘whore members’ we’r..
#whoremembers
If you first read that as ‘whore members’
we’re probably already friends
2025-02-15 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
themichellejeanfree posts
Just because a woman likes your picture or status on social ..
Just because a woman likes your picture or status on social media does not mean she wants to see a picture of your wiener.
2025-02-14 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostOnce you have seen a women take off her bra without removing..
Once you have seen a women take off her bra without removing her shirt, it makes more sense why they should be in charge of things.
2025-02-13 18:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
When you fall on your face you’re still moving forward.
When you fall on your face
you’re still moving forward.
2025-02-11 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostWe don’t lick people. ~Lies adults tell to kids~
We don’t lick people.
~Lies adults tell to kids~
2025-02-10 18:00:10 +0000 UTC View PostYou call it coffee, I call it my emotional support beverage.
You call it coffee,
I call it my emotional support beverage.
2025-02-09 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostI need 100K and a hug right now. Please don’t hug me without..
I need 100K and a hug right now.
Please don’t hug me without the money.
2025-02-08 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostMy mind is like my internet browser19 tabs open3 of them are..
My mind is like my internet browser
19 tabs open
3 of them are frozen &
I have NO IDEA where
the music is coming from.
2025-02-07 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post1+1=3 If you don’t use a condom.
1+1=3
If you don’t use a condom.
2025-02-06 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostSometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
Sometimes I drink water to surprise my liver.
2025-02-05 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostBeing an adult is so weird. I’m just unsupervised all the ti..
Being an adult is so weird. I’m just unsupervised all the time? How unsafe.
2025-02-04 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostI’d like to thank whomever told my mom that WTF means ‘wow t..
I’d like to thank whomever told my mom
that WTF means ‘wow that’s fantastic’
Her texts are so much more fun now.
2025-02-03 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostI hate it when I forget my password and answer my secret que..
I hate it when I forget my password and answer my secret question wrong. It’s like I don’t even know me.
2025-02-02 18:00:08 +0000 UTC View PostSome call it multi-tasking,I call it doing something else wh..
Some call it multi-tasking,I call it doing something else while I try to remember what I was doing in the first place.
2025-02-01 18:00:08 +0000 UTC View PostMy 1st day as a crime scene investigator Detective: How did ..
My 1st day as a crime scene investigator
Detective: How did this man drown?
Me: He couldn’t breathe underwater.
2025-01-31 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostMy brain said “crunches” by my stomach auto-correct it to ..
My brain said “crunches” by my stomach auto-correct it to “cupcakes”
2025-01-30 18:00:07 +0000 UTC View PostAlcohol! Because no great story started with a salad.
Alcohol!
Because no great story started with a salad.
2025-01-29 18:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostA diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.
A diamond is a chunk of coal that did well under pressure.
2025-01-28 18:00:09 +0000 UTC View PostTry to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.
Try to be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud.
2025-01-27 18:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostThere is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs..
There is no elevator to success.
You have to take the stairs.
2025-01-26 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostYou never fail until you stop trying.
You never fail until you stop trying.
2025-01-25 18:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.
Work hard in silence, let your success be your noise.
2025-01-23 18:00:03 +0000 UTC View PostWelcome to the dark side, where all the fun stuff happens.
Welcome to the dark side, where all the fun stuff happens.
2025-01-22 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View PostYou know that tingle little feeling you get when you like so..
You know that tingle little feeling you get when you like someone…that is your common sense leaving your body.
2025-01-21 18:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostIf you are offended by the things I say just imagine the stu..
If you are offended by the things I say just imagine the stuff I hold back.
2025-01-20 18:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostMy ideal body weight, is yours on mine.
My ideal body weight, is yours on mine.
2025-01-19 18:00:08 +0000 UTC View PostAlways remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
2025-01-18 18:00:05 +0000 UTC View PostWhatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating bl..
Whatever you do, always give 100%.
Unless you’re donating bl00d.
2025-01-17 18:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post
