ephebe

ephebe posts

“Bro, I have been studying how to compare This prison where ..

“Bro, I have been studying how to compare This prison where I live unto the world, And for because the world is populous And here is not a creature but myself, I cannot do it—and yet I’ll wank it out. My brain will act the female to my soul, My soul the father, and these two beget A generation of most steamy thoughts, And these same thoughts bejizz this little world…” —Shaky Willy, Lockdown III

2021-03-27 10:05:34 +0000 UTC View Post

Thanos and the Nudity Gauntlet... 🤌🏻 All I’ll say is, thank ..

Thanos and the Nudity Gauntlet... 🤌🏻 All I’ll say is, thank goodness I was inside when it happened 🙏🏻

2021-03-26 10:20:41 +0000 UTC View Post

Yes, I am the master of the two-eyed wink... 🙈 And yet I can..

Yes, I am the master of the two-eyed wink... 🙈 And yet I can wink just fine with my butt 🤷🏻‍♂️

2021-03-25 09:45:55 +0000 UTC View Post

Are we a fan of selvedge denim? 🍑

2021-03-24 10:44:01 +0000 UTC View Post

Help! I seem to be stuck inside a naked space loop... ♾

2021-03-23 10:01:45 +0000 UTC View Post

Cum Mondays! 💦 How like writing masturbation is... (Also, ex..

Cum Mondays! 💦 How like writing masturbation is... (Also, excuse my old and creaky floorboards 😬)

2021-03-22 09:48:43 +0000 UTC View Post

Wood in the woods 🌳 Cum is biodegradable, so I’m doing my bi..

Wood in the woods 🌳 Cum is biodegradable, so I’m doing my bit... 🙏🏻

2021-03-21 09:43:36 +0000 UTC View Post

Built with Nutella. Literally 🙈 Batman has his bat signal, b..

Built with Nutella. Literally 🙈 Batman has his bat signal, but just smear yourself in Nutella and I’ll be there 🦸🏻‍♂️

2021-03-20 09:43:19 +0000 UTC View Post

Shootout at high nude... 🔫

2021-03-19 09:29:02 +0000 UTC View Post

I know all FOUR chords, bro 😎

2021-03-18 09:19:52 +0000 UTC View Post

“It’s not public indecency if I keep my socks on, right?” I ..

“It’s not public indecency if I keep my socks on, right?” I think as I undress before the street-facing window...

2021-03-17 08:38:57 +0000 UTC View Post

Eau de bro... 🍑😏

2021-03-16 08:39:06 +0000 UTC View Post

Cum Mondays! The gods are generous; ask and you shall receiv..

Cum Mondays! The gods are generous; ask and you shall receive... 💦

2021-03-15 09:29:51 +0000 UTC View Post

Sunday is a holy day, so don't forget to pray to the butt go..

Sunday is a holy day, so don't forget to pray to the butt gods... 🙇🏻‍♂️

2021-03-14 08:05:28 +0000 UTC View Post

It was then, feeling the cold wind on his buttocks, that Eph..

It was then, feeling the cold wind on his buttocks, that Ephebe knew he'd forgotten to put on his trousers 🤦🏻‍♂️

2021-03-13 08:59:53 +0000 UTC View Post

I must reiterate how important it is to stretch before a wor..

I must reiterate how important it is to stretch before a workout... 😉 It doesn’t take long and going through the motions seems to prepare my body in other ways too. If I’m cold, my body starts getting warmer in habitual anticipation of a workout. Not to mention it’s simply pleasurable and I recommend it to anyone even if they don’t work out. Nudity though is optional 😋

2021-03-12 10:06:13 +0000 UTC View Post

Can one be any cheesier? I think not 🤓 Just to say: good mor..

Can one be any cheesier? I think not 🤓 Just to say: good morning and have an ubermenschian day 😉

2021-03-11 10:27:41 +0000 UTC View Post

Feeling like an asshole today... 😏 Who wants a taste? 😋

2021-03-10 09:39:08 +0000 UTC View Post

Finger clickin' goodness... 😏 (One egg was harmed in the mak..

Finger clickin' goodness... 😏 (One egg was harmed in the making of this video)

2021-03-09 08:51:19 +0000 UTC View Post

Cum Mondays! 💦 This time I took a more laidback approach... ..

Cum Mondays! 💦 This time I took a more laidback approach... 😏

2021-03-08 08:43:56 +0000 UTC View Post

Don’t mind me rocking out with my buns out 🍑🎸 (I know Wonder..

Don’t mind me rocking out with my buns out 🍑🎸 (I know Wonderwall and everything, bro)

2021-03-07 08:31:06 +0000 UTC View Post

Thought I’d assume the welcoming position for all my new fan..

Thought I’d assume the welcoming position for all my new fans 👋🏻 I’d just like to say this is still only the very beginning. I don’t have much privacy where I currently live, so though I have lots of ideas, most can’t be done or can only be done sub-optimally. But I’ll hopefully move out soon and then I can really get going 😉 (Also, the floor looks kinda grim because I’m waiting on a new wood floor to be laid and I’m currently in plywood limbo 🙈)

2021-03-06 09:14:02 +0000 UTC View Post

When you’re trying to do a cum vid, but the squirrels are ma..

When you’re trying to do a cum vid, but the squirrels are making you too paranoid 🙈 Do you ever pass through the apparently empty countryside and wonder whether nearby and just out of sight someone is fucking/masturbating? 👀

2021-03-05 10:05:33 +0000 UTC View Post

Oops, butterfingers. Luckily my roommate is so helpful 😏

2021-03-04 10:13:40 +0000 UTC View Post

I love being rimmed, just so you know... 👅

2021-03-03 09:52:55 +0000 UTC View Post

I never used to do sport. I didn’t think I was the ‘sporty t..

I never used to do sport. I didn’t think I was the ‘sporty type’ and certainly not ‘someone who goes to the gym’. Then I stumbled on a Reddit post that efficiently and simply outlined the basics. Three years later and with really only a little effort efficiently applied I feel pretty good. I’d like to say it was because I changed my ideas, but really the actions and the body came first, the ideas were simply a secondary and incidental manifestation. Don’t overthink, just do the ritual. ‘Pray’ to the gym gods and you will win their blessings 💪🏻 Basically, I just want to express how enormously simple it was and yet how enriching. My only wish is that I’d seen the post sooner. So, in case there’s someone out there like me, here’s the post that got me started shorturl.at/mqMNP 😉

2021-03-02 09:59:22 +0000 UTC View Post